Hema told me: "We are alone during Christmas, and almost everyone in our family is in Lithuania". Hearing this, I thought about my past Christmases and how I spent them.
I have never been a fan of spending Christmas the way my family did when I was a kid. But I am thankful to my mum, who showed me the Christmas spirit.
Most of my Christmases, I spent with myself, and it was amazing. I had some Christmas food, watched Christmas movies, and decorated my bedroom with Christmas decorations. Christmas time has always been my favorite time of the year. I never thought I needed someone to make it Christmas. I was okay on my own. I was cheerful and happy with myself on Christmas days. I never felt lonely. I even bought Christmas presents for myself.
Christmas Eve always smelled of Christmas candles and mince pies, and the room was filled with Christmas songs. On Christmas Day, I would wake up happy and with a Christmas mood that most people don’t have even when they are with their families. Everything was nice and cheerful. I was with myself. I was happy.
Now, I am even happier. I have my cat with me. I am not alone anymore. But yes, for others, it is sad to hear that I am on my own for Christmas. But they don’t know. They don’t know so much about me and my life. They don’t know that the times I spent Christmas not alone were mostly when I wasn’t happy and would have rather spent time alone.
Am I weird? I don’t know. But I know I am okay, even if people think it is not okay. Just let me be happy.
This year, as Christmas approaches, I find myself reflecting on the joy I’ve always found in my own company. The twinkling lights, the cozy nights, the smell of pine and cinnamon – these are the things that make Christmas special for me. Even now, with my cat by my side, I feel a sense of peace and contentment that many would not understand. The world outside may see it as loneliness, but in my heart, it is a time of warmth and joy.
To those who pity me, I wish they could see what I see: the magic in solitude, the beauty in self-reliance. Christmas is not about the number of people around the table, but the love and happiness that fill the room. And for me, that love is real, even if it comes from within.